Tag: Son

Categories
the week in review

Sunday ramblings

Today is Sunday August 4. Spent the better part of the past 3 days contemplate my future. In the background is the Fox News broadcast “Life, Liberty & Levin”. I seldom watch the news on TV, but there wasn’t anything else worth watching. The platform is a question and answer session, which is better than many of the talking heads from both sides of the political spectrum. The subject is a discussion about the second Cold War with Niall Ferguson. It entails an economic war as opposed to a military conflict, but that the long view is that China will win because they take a long-term view and that our political system will rive change and we will loose site on the long term. Interesting conversation. I have long found that the interface between economics and history/politics interesting. If I had been smarter, perhaps I could have made a career in the field.

Daughter leaves for the US Pony Club National Championships central region. The competition is in Colorado this year, which is a 6 hour trip near Denver. Son and I will stay home to keep the stress down. I wish her luck in all of the events that she is competing in. Hopefully she will remain n the horse and finish. Both she and Ruby have been practicing hard the past several weeks. She will be competing in show jumping and eventing.

Friday I managed to visit with my financial guy to review my status on the path towards retirement. While I am on tract, I have a few areas to clean up. The discussion covered numerous areas beyond just focusing on 401k balances, debt, and what I plan to do after retirement. Of course, plans are always subject to change. Given the current political climate, I am concerned that much could change and destroy my plans and my future.

Then of course, we had another weekend of a lone gunmen and mass killings. I am pro gun and believe that guns don’t kill people, rather people kill people. That said, I have no problems with background checks, licenses and insurance much like one has for an automobile, keeping automatic guns out of the hands of people, and mental health. You need to keep guns out of the hands of some people. The issue then becomes how. You also need to acknowledge that if people want to harm others, they will. I get a check up annually as far as my mental health as required for my job and my employer. Sadly, I am afraid that the increases in gun killings recently has more to do with the declines in our society and it’s values, the fact that we continue to lesson the value of human life. This is in opposition to those who subscribe to a theory that the increase is associated with the number of guns available.

There is much hate these days, and it surfaces on social media often. Politically, we are divided as a nation and it shows in many areas. I will have more to say about these topics as we continue on the journey of this blog.

Categories
life

Stimulating conversation

Often when I am home alone because the kids are with their mother, I find myself talking either to myself, or to the dog. I wonder what that means?

Naturally I performed a Google search on “talking to myself or the dog”. Top of the list was an April 2019 article “Your-new-self-care-talk-to-yourself-the-way-you-talk-to-a-pet” by Haley Goldberg.

https://advice.shinetext.com/articles/your-new-self-care-talk-to-yourself-the-way-you-talk-to-a-pet/

Haley concluded that she was far nicer to her dog than to herself and thus we should talk to ourself like we talk to our pet. Haley’s Instagram page show lots of pictures with her rescued dogs. They look good and I am glad that she rescued them.

I can relate because I consider myself my own worst enemy. I don’t think that I can really talk to myself like the way I talk to Jewel. Somehow “no biting Steve, kisses” really will help me. My conversations are more about “well that’s a fine mess you got yourself in; how are you going to get out of it”? Or “ what shall I make for dinner”? Jewel’s kibble isn’t for me. For me, talking to myself helps me to analyze and to solve the problem that I am talking to myself about.

The next article in the search was a 2015 article entitled “What’s really going on when you talk to your pet” suggests that dogs can understand

http://www.vetstreet.com/our-pet-experts/whats-really-going-on-when-you-talk-to-your-pet

the emotions we are conveying from the tone of our voice. I can relate to that because Jewel can certainly tell when she is in trouble from the tone of my voice. So can my kids. So can my coworkers. One’s tone can convey positive and heartwarming thoughts. Conversely, anger and frustration can also be conveyed by the tone of one’s voice. The words can make it worse. And for the record, when I talk t o myself, I too can here the tone differences and how they convey emotion.

The third item in the search was a 2013 article from Psychology Today entitled “Is it crazy to talk to your dog”. It too talked about intonations

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/play-in-mind/201304/is-it-crazy-talk-your-dog

and the responses of the dog.

The Atlantic had a 2017 article entitled “Why Do Humans Talk to Animals If They Can’t Understand?” This article suggested that the tendency to converse with dogs, cats, and hamsters ultimately says more about people than it does about their pets. I now have to admit that I also talk t9 the horse, and sons hampster Jonny. Neither one ever talks back.

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2017/08/talking-to-pets/537225/

In addition, conversations with our pets are not one-sided. They give as much as they take. This is true because when I talk to Jewel, her tale wags. When she chases her tail and I ask her if she got it, or if I hold her tale, she will chase it some more.

OK so I think we have concluded that it is ok to talk to our pets, but what about ourselves? Well, I think that is also ok, and answering ourselves is also ok. After all, or at least in my case, I can really have some questioning conversation with myself about myself. And after all, who is best to tell me about me than me.

So here I am downstairs writing this posting. My past few posts never saw the light of day. They remain draft and need work. The kids are upstairs, presumably playing computer games. Jewel is here keeping me company. And I am talking to myself as I write this. In that context, I am sounding out my sentences so I don’t really think that it consititutes talking to myself.

The Google search also produced several article feeling with the subject about talking to yourself. In general, it doesn’t appear that talking to yourself puts you into a weekly visit to a therapist. I’m sure that psychologists have debated this topic for a long time. It looks like they have concluded every that it is ok, provided it is in moderation. In general, anything and everything in moderation is fine. Two articles, one in the New York Times and the other on CNN conveyed the importance of talking to yourself. There, all is well in the world.

At any rate, I hope this article stimulates you as it did me. I had fun writing it.

Categories
Family

Road Trip…days 3 and 4

Two very long and tiring days so I am combining them in today’s post. As I write this, today is Monday July 8th. I have taken the day as vacation, knowing that we would be very late in getting back. I know I got to bed sometime after 1 am this morning.

To add insult to injury, I got up about 6:30 am. Wide awake, I went and fed the horse. A horse that I think is happy to be home.

To recap the weekend. Daughter unfortunately fell off her horse during show jumping. This eliminated her from the competition after a reasonable dressage score. Her weekend of eventing was over. So much in preparation comes to an end in the matter of moments.

The photo above is of daughter warming up in dressage. She then went in and scored well for her forth try at this level of competition. Typical issues are documented in the judges scoring sheet; needing to be fluid and bend more with the horse. We were pleased with her showing.

Show jumping was later in the day. Her practice jumps in the warm up area were great, but there was a long pause between warm up and her ride. She was able to start and cleared the first jump but lost balance on the approach to the second jump. Enough said.

Cross country was yesterday (Sunday). Had she competed, it would have been very late in the day (later than it was). The course was very tough, poor footing in a few places and many refusals at the jumps for many riders. Several riders fell during their rides. In fact, daughter’s trainer who was also competing, fell during a jump in the middle of the course. After she was checked out at the urgent care (concussion), we packed up and headed home.

But the sky was still blue.

The ride home was equally troubling. Motorcycle accident in Arizona; slow traffic due to road construction in New Mexico. It was a long day. We switched trailers at Goose Downs around 11 pm and managed to get Ruby unloaded about 12:45 am this morning back in her own paddock.

I find myself writing this post at about 8 am Monday morning. I am very tired and need to get some more sleep. As it is, I never sleep well on travel in hotels. Not that I sleep well at home, averaging 4 to 6 hours on a normal day.

Long weekend with the kids. Great time had by all.

Categories
Family

RoadTrip…day 2

The first full day in Flagstaff. We dropped daughter and mother off where the horse has been put up for the weekend. Son and I then embarked on a 90 minute detour north to check out one of the seven wonders of the natural world. The Grand Canyon.

When son walked up to the edge, he looked out and said “amazing “. He stood there in silence for a several minutes, admiring the natural beauty and sheer size of it. It was not what he expected.

We walked around the canyon rim for about an hour. Checked out two gift shops, and then hopped back in the car to return to Flagstaff. Today was the teaching portion of Coconino. It’s where the contestants get to pay to practice dressage, show jumping, and get the opportunity to walk the cross country course.

We got back in time for daughter to bath the horse. As you can see, daughter is telling stories to the other riders who are there washing their horses as well. I wonder what drives so many little girls to ride horses. There are literally a hundred plus competitors here. I only say maybe three male competitors.

After bathing Ruby, it was time to dry the horse and hope that she stays clean until tomorrow.

For daughter, it’s quiet time to get mentally prepared for the competition. After getting the horses tucked into their stalls for the evening, fed, and general getting ready, there was a stable social hour. I was admiring the truck and trailer rig that sponsor had. A heavy duty Ford 350 and a trailer that could hold four horses and a complete camper. Impressive. First class. Then for us it was back to the hotel, dinner and an early bed. Until tomorrow.

Categories
Family

Road Trip

Instead of spending the 4th of July at a picnic, watching a parade, or going out to hear music and watch fireworks, I spent the day in the car. As a family, we drove to Flagstaff Arizona for a weekend horse competition for Daughter. My 4th of July hotdog was from a truck stop on I40 heading west. Ketchup but sadly, no onions. The Coconino Horse Trials are held every year about this time. The competition starts on Friday with classes and practice and the competition is Saturday and Sunday. We already know that it will be a long day because her cross country ride is not until 3:23 Sunday afternoon. Then pack up the horse and a 7 hour car ride. Stopping at Goose Downs to change trailers puts us into Los Alamos about 3 am.

For son and I, it is kinda like a family vacation. Of course I’d like to see her compete but my weekend will be spent entertaining him. And since this post is entitled Road Trip, I took a number of obligatory photos on the ride to catalogue this adventure.

Your author, as we pull out of Los Alamos at 7 am. First stop is to Goose Downs to trade trailers and get the other horse for the trip. Of course, we have to entertain son, so it is a must to have WiFi for the trip.

Pit stop at Goose Downs to unload Ruby while we transfer the gear to a larger trailer and load two horses for the long trip west.

Leaving Santa Fe on I25 after Goose Downs. Next stop will be outside Grants for gas along I40. Stops are short, long enough to get a bathroom break.

Eventually we cross into Arizona. I40 often parallels Route 66. So a little nostalgia runs through my mind. The best part of the trip is several hours into Arizona…

Sadly there is no time to stop and check out it the corner, but we played the song twice as we drove past.

Well I’m runnin’ down the road tryin’ to loosen my load
I’ve got seven women on my mind
Four that wanna own me two that wanna
stone me one says she’s a friend of mine
Take it easy
Take it easy
Don’t let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy
Lighten up while you still can
Don’t even try to understand
Just find a place make your stand
Take it easy
Well I’m a standin’ on a corner in Winslow, Arizona
Such a fine sight to see
It’s a girl my lord in a flatbed
Ford slowin’ down to take a look at me
Come on baby
Don’t say maybe
I gotta know if your sweet love is gonna save me
We may lose and we may win
Though we will never be here again
So open up I’m climbin’ in
Take it easy
Alright

Yes we sang the great Eagles song, these lyrics courtesy of Google. Both son and daughter just looked at their parents in wonder. It will take awhile, but they need to learn traditions, or at least great music.

Finally Flagstaff and the Coconino Fair Grounds for unpacking and settling Ruby in for the evening. She is on a working vacation.

For the family, it is the hotel, dinner at a brewery and then back to the hotel for bed.

Categories
ramblings of a madman

Rewriting History

I see lots of stories on Facebook and elsewhere about renaming schools, getting rid of statues and memorials about Civil War Generals and events. For those who may forget, July 1 is the first day of the bloodiest battle in American history. July 1, 1863 marked the beginning of the Battle of Gettysburg. One Hundred and Fifty Six days ago the Army of Northern Virginia and Army of the Potomac met in the small community in south central Pennsylvania. After three days, there were a total of 51,112 casualties (dead, wounded, and missing from both sides).

Books, movies, a PBS series by Ken Burns, all cover the subject from different points of view. In school back in Central Pennsylvania, a class field trip to Gettysburg was the norm. I think I went there at least twice. The trip would tour the key points of the battlefield: Big and Little Round Top, Devil’s Den, Pickett’s Charge, a number of the monuments and the Gettysburg Cyclorama.

Last summer, I drove through the town of Gettysburg after I took Madison back to Pennsylvania for a two week riding camp. I had my son with me and after a short vacation for him at HersheyPark, I place I worked at during several summers in college, we drove to and through the town of Gettysburg. It has really changed over the 40 years that I was last there. He wasn’t too excited about the park, the cannons, or the history. I tried to trace part of Lee’s travels to Gettysburg, and then his retreat after the battle in our rental car. I really enjoy visiting such places. We were making our way back to the airport in Baltimore to return to New Mexico, so it was my way of trying to have an educational trip as part of the mini vacation. Not interesting to a 10 year old.

Yes, a long way to the airport. However, it was quality time with son. Of course, as he is in 5th grade, the only thing he knows about the Civil War, aside from the fact that it was a war between the North and the South, and that the slaves were freed, Abraham Lincoln and the Gettysburg Address, and the Battle of Glorieta Pass. Yes, there was a Civil War battle fought just east of Santa Fe in March of 1862. Today, parts of the battlefield are part of the Pecos National Historical Park. There are a couple of monuments and signs, but no cannons or cemetery, or things like you find in Gettysburg. You can get a gate code and a map to unlock a gate at the Pecos National Historical Park Visitors Center. This allows you to hike the Glorieta Pass Battlefield trail.

I loved learning history in high school and in college. Sadly, what I see today is lots of people trying to rewrite history, or trying to change things so that we forget it, or to feel like we must understand the feelings of others. We rewrite the textbooks, often without much change in the historical truths. As Orwell pointed out, history can be and often is rewritten to suit the needs of the present. Some say that we rewrite history because the prevailing opinions of the period have changed. I should not be surprised that we also need to rewrite or recreate or reimagine that places where the history was actually made.

Today we rename the elementary school from Robert E Lee Elementary to another Lee who may or may not have contributed anything. We remove statues because a group of people think that they are evil, or that we need to forget the past. To this I say bunk. Robert E Lee was an American general who fought for what he believed in (state’s rights). Arlington National Cemetery now stands on his former homestead. Yes slavery was wrong. We fought a war to end it; and to properly define elements of the rights of the state and the rights of the federal government. We need to understand history so that we do not forget the sins of the past. To forget history is to rewrite history. The fact that we had to fight a war is enough to understand that humanity suffers because of it. That alone should be enough of a reason to not rewrite history. We are seeing failings of remembering the past unfold today in many areas of our political spectrum.

Categories
Family

Weekend with the kids – part 2

Sunday starts early. I’m up before sunrise, doing some reading. Daughter is sleeping in but we must get going if she wants to feed the horse and get to Goose Downs by nine. Sadly, she is the slowpoke of the family and doesn’t have us heading out the door after eight to go feed Ruby.

Ruby is happy to see us. In her fly mask and sheet, she greats us like she does every morning. Leaning over the fence, a couple of hello whinnies, and then the expectation of a treat. Hay, grains, beet pulp and supplements; and she is fed and we are on our way. No ride for Ruby today. The 60+ minute drive to Goose Downs is in front of us.

I have brought the dog along for the car ride. Drop off daughter and finally get play date time and location scheduled for son. There I am, driving back. Passing through the McDonalds drive through in Santa Fe, I order a large coffee and a sausage with egg. Long line at the drive through, but as I get my order, the two people at the window are talking that the order in front of me left too quickly and were short on their order. I comment how I never leave without checking. I check and it looks good, at least the wrappers. However, I need to check deeper in the future. My sausage is not sausage, rather it is Canadian bacon. My coffee, which is black with two sugars, is coffee with cream and no sugar.

Back in Los Alamos I get son and get ready for his play date. His friend arrives after lunch and they proceed to play Minecraft for two hours. I try to nap as I am still tired and recovering from travel. And just like that, they are done and scheming for next weekend. I drop his friend off, taken son to his mothers and then back out on the road to pick up daughter.

I have divided the trip to Goose Downs has been into three 26 minute increments. Each increment becomes a race inside my head as I try to beat the time of 26 minutes. The first is Los Alamos to Pojoaque, one of the many reservations (and casinos) that exist in the state. The road is two lanes in each direction, the scenery is that of mesa’s and mountains, although they lack the vivid colors from a Georgia O’Keefe painting. The second segment is Pojoaque to the I25 interchange south of Santa Fe. This actually takes you through Santa Fe. Once upon a time, one could drive through Santa Fe at 38 miles per hour and never hit a red light. That changed with the New Mexico Rail Runner, which crosses at the intersection of St Francis and Cerrillos. The panhandlers are on these corners, with their signs stating their plight. It’s summer so there are many of them, although it isn’t as bad as the cities in California, Oregon and Washington state.

After the I25 intersection, you head north for the third segment, to Goose Downs. Staying on I25 for awhile, you then turn south on 285, passing Eldorado. Goose Downs is south of Lamy, just before Galisteo.

The scenery is like much of New Mexico. All in all, the trip is just over an hour one way, and probably could be described as the southern route like the scenery in the great book “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance”.

Before you know it, I have daughter and we are heading home. The race over the three sections plays itself out in reverse. Try talking during a car ride to a teenager who has her ear pods in and the music cranked up. Lastly, horse is fed, sone is retrieved and tonight we are having pizza. After 12 hours in the car driving back and forth, my ass is sore, the evening is soon upon us and tomorrow is another work day. The things we do for our kids.

Categories
Family

Weekend with the kids

My weekends are often denoted by the following: either I have the kids, or I do not. A normal schedule has them with me starting on a Thursday night and continuing through Monday morning. This weekend is not normal as I was on travel this past Thursday. And as they have gotten older, they have certainly begun to exercise their free will to decide what they want, including which house to stay at, regardless of schedule. I am somewhat bothered by this approach, but as they get older I understand that they need to make their own decisions. After all, the fact that decisions have consequences is a valued lesson.

Daughter spent the day working around the horses at Goose Downs. That required me to gather them up and drive daughter and son about 60 miles one way, drop her off and return. Aside from a trip to Lowe’s, son and I returned home for a three hour round trip. Boring for son, but I took the internet with us, so he at least could entertain himself with his iPad. In general he doesn’t really like car trips. Not your usual road trip as I remember them growing up.

To pick her up later in the day, I took him to his mom’s house while I was away. Just doesn’t feel right to leave an eleven year old home alone for parts of the day. He thinks he is old enough and while I trust him, it just isn’t something that I will do for long periods of time. Yep, another three hours in the car. Knowing that a trip back to Goose Downs tomorrow was in the plans, he just asked if he could stay at his mom’s. He really didn’t want the joys of another car ride, so I said sure. After all, he has been with me for several weekends due to various horse activities.

When they are here, they tend to keep to themselves. Often that is computer games in their rooms. An occasional movie as a family, or family games. Daughter often rides during the weekends. Not this weekend as we are not transporting Ruby to Goose Downs for lessons. For son, I was working to arrange a play date with a friend of his from school. Swimming at the pool may also be a distinct possibility. Unclear if either will happen. Equally unclear what else can be folded into this weekend beyond another several hours in the car for myself and daughter. I still have a number of things to do around the house and the stables.

Categories
Family

First day of summer

Today marks the first day of summer. Started humming the Brian Adams tune “Summer of 69”, which I recall was big during the summer of 1983. I was back in Pennsylvania. I had graduated from college and was getting ready for graduate school. I recall that was a hot summer for some reason. And here in New Mexico, today is hot (mid-80’s) and windy. Low humidity, and blue sky. Yes, I was able to get back about midnight after the travel day from hell.

It was good that I was able to get home because I had lots of things to do. I had to feed the horse first thing in the morning, go to work on my day off to deal with some pressing things, pick up the dog from the kennel, take daughter riding and pick up son from nature camp. Horse and dog are fine, children are well, and I didn’t get sucked in on my day off.

Summertime usually coincides with the kickoff of the afternoon monsoon season. Monsoon season has been on again, off again over the past two decades. Monsoon season is usually when the rain clouds form above the mountains to the west during the day. By the afternoon, we have a thunderstorm with rain. They typically hit every afternoon and last about a half an hour at most. But the thunder and lightening can be quite impressive. They add their own unique set of colors to the New Mexico sky, which is a palette containing a variety of colors. The skies are often light blue or dark blue. They are some of the deepest blues that I have ever seen. And of course, the white puffy clouds. Often with the monsoons are large and very colorful rainbows. Sadly, I have yet to find a pot of gold. Another sky anomaly, depending upon the sunlight, the angle in the sky, and other weather conditions are the variety of other colors present in the sky: yellow, orange, red, and pink. These colors are often present at sunrise and sunset.

We have a quiet weekend planned. Daughter plans to work at Goose Downs. Son has nothing on the horizon but we have some work to do at the stables in terms of cutting weeds and getting the barn ready for the first delivery of hay shortly. Aside from housecleaning, perhaps I can read some more of my book.

Quiet is good. I never sleep well on travel, so I often return very tired and need the weekend to recover. Plans for July and August are starting to take shape. Two horse competitions; one in July and one in August. My 40th high school reunion is in a July. Still trying to decide if I will make it back. Sounds like a few folks that I haven’t seen in 40 years may be there. July is pretty busy already, making a long weekend trip back east difficult, but we shall see.

Categories
Family

Happy Fathers Day

Happy Fathers Day to all of the dads out there. It was a very quiet day around here. Son was here and daughter had a horse riding competition. Daughter did well. This was her first time riding two different horses in two different categories. She took first in both. Conversely, son stayed here inside, playing some computer games. Not sure if he took first or what game he played. Whatever he played, it kept him busy all afternoon. That was good because I really wasn’t feeling well.

Just as we do on Mothers Day, the kids had cards for me. They usually have something like “from your favorite son, or your best daughter” written somewhere on either the envelope or inside the card. Some years they make them. This year, like most, they are store bought cards. Nothing fancy. No singing cat or dog. It’s the thought that counts.

The act of giving cards is another activity that I find missing in today’s technology driven world. A hand written note conveys far more emotion than an electronic card, e-mail or text. The fact that time was taken to actually get a card, to sit down and write something, anything, makes it a message from the heart.

I, as many of my friends on Facebook, posted images of their kids or themselves with their dads today. I did the same. My photo had son and daughter together, outside the stables with the horse. I take a great many pictures of myself with the kids, or the kids by themselves or together. These are my pictures of our family. Conversely, I don’t have photos of myself, or my sister, or the two of us with our father. Let’s just say that my father and I were estranged over these past 40-plus years, even up to his passing a few years ago. That action was the product of family divorce, and I definitely do not want to make the same mistakes as he did. It’s tough, sometimes I don’t get it right, but I keep trying.

Until tomorrow.