Sitting here this Friday morning having a cup of tea, not coffee, I cannot believe that the year will soon be over. In my opinion, this year, 2022, has been very much a downer. Nonetheless, the year has flown by quickly. In my mind, the past 360-plus days is largely a blur. Some good times, some not-so-good times. The not-so-good times outnumber the good. Looking back upon my limited postings that I have put up over the course of the year, I come to the realization that I am glad that it will soon be over.
I would characterize this year as one in which a few good things happened, woven into the thread of bad times. The loss of friends, the loss of coworkers, the belief that tomorrow will be better than yesterday, uncertainty as to the path that I am to follow. Much of it not part of my plan, nor embellished in my posts. At least I am still standing.
Christmas has come and gone. The tree was put up, the stockings were hung over the fireplace. Presents exchanged. Presents unwrapped. Outside the weather was dreary. Cold days and nights, some rain, very windy, and a little snow. I was able to spend some time with the kids. Several hours between exchanging gifts, cooking a meal and eating it. Prime rib, beets and mashed potatoes. Alas, another holiday meal this year where I did not drink wine.
Another year in the bank in terms of work. I have eclipsed my 32nd year at Los Alamos. I have been calling this period as the second act in my life, unsure of what comes next or which direction to take. For a while, I have been thinking that it has been time to lower the curtain on this act, to move on, retire and decide “what’s next?”.
I had dinner last night with a coworker who reminded me that I have been saying that I will retire as long as she has known me. It has been and endless set of three bad days and then I am out. While this is true, I guess that I don’t move forward because I am torn between the idea that there is more to accomplish versus, I don’t know what is next. What is in this second act that remains unwritten?
Professionally, I have come to the conclusion that 2022 has been the least productive of my career. Goals not achieved. Work not completed. Old problems continue to linger. New problems all the time that lack solutions yet need to be addressed.
Personally, I have not seen much growth in myself. Change is hard. I can hope that 2023 will be better. I can try harder, but I am not optimistic. So Happy Holidays to one and all. A New Year will soon be among us.