Subject

As I sit here in the living room this evening, I am trying to figure out what to write. Usually, there are several subjects during the day that pop into my head. Some cause me to think longer and harder than others. It’s the one that I ponder the most that writes itself. That is the one that becomes the subject matter that I write about in the evening. I was setting here this evening, alternating between the TV, my beer and things on my iPad. Lots going on today so there are many topics to write about.

Then my solitude is interrupted by the kids. That quickly escalates into an argument about ice cream sundaes. Something that is a special treat has now become an everyday treat in the mind of my son. So as the sucker that I am, I run out and get them. Daughter has a friend from school over for a sleepover. Right now I am actually quite angry at both of them for different reasons.

Upon my return, son knows he is in the doghouse but he just cannot comprehend why and his typical response is “I’m sorry”. However, as I try to explain to him again, he has never comprehended the concept of an apology and that with it comes the idea that he will not do that which he is apologizing for again. Literally it can be a matter of minutes and he is back at it. We have this conversation over and over and over. He just does not comprehend the idea.

Disclaimer. Both of my kids have been diagnosed and are taking medicine for ADHD. They are not in the zombie state that one often thinks of with ADHD medicines. Just the opposite. And to those who suggest that it is overdiagnosed, and the medicines are over prescribed. There is a clear difference between both of them with and without the medicine. Over the years we have tried everything. The symptoms in a boy can and are often very different in a girl.

I often wonder if it is me. Like me, both have anger issues. I’ve tried over the years to work on it, and have been somewhat successful, especially around the kids. Not perfect but getting better as they get older. Sometimes my actions remind me of my life in growing up. Then I wonder if it’s a product of the divorce. As I am the product of divorce, I do my best to be there, treat them equal, and try to talk to them every day. Conversation was never a big thing in my household.

They are very different. Daughter is outgoing, has her horse, lots of friends, tries new and different things. She is on her own journey. Son has a hampster. He is a lot like me in many ways. He keeps to himself. Somewhat shy, an introvert. Has a couple of friends, but with school out he doesn’t keep in touch or try to play with them over the summer vacation. Doesn’t excel in sports; actually has no interest in sports. He is the one I most worry about. Hopefully next week will be better because he starts a summer camp and his tow closest friends from preschool will be there. Hope that goes well.

Today was a beautiful day outside. Both spent the day inside. We went out and I got them new bikes for the summer. Their older bikes were too small for them. Bring them home and nothing. Put them in the garage. They did not go for a ride. Ditto with daughter and the horse. No riding today. It’s clear, and although he doesn’t say so, I think he feels slighted by the horse. It’s a big expense and so he sees things. One can by lots of game coins or things for playing online video games for the cost of some horse things. We tried to get him interested in horses. No. We talked about chickens, rabbits, or goats. Initially displays some interest, but like most things, he will loose interest and then it becomes my responsibility. In general, I’m not one to force things upon either of them. It never turns out well in the end.

And just like that. I am done with this evening writing assignment. I covered the five or six topics that went through my mind during the day. Might be long winded rambling, but there it is.